Christ off Cross – GOP Chooses Trump Instead


Donald H. Trump on a pogo stick

Donald H. Trump on a pogo stick

“Don’t get me wrong,” Donald “God-you-guys-are-suckers” Trump told this reporter yesterday, “The Bible is a great series, and I can’t wait for the next book to come out, but that loser, Christ? He is a hero because they put him on a cross? I like biblical heroes who weren’t captured. Like the way Moses bombed the sh*t out of the ISIS chariots when they tried to cross the Red Sea.”

Ted “Face-dipped-in-vinegar” Cruse agreed, “Christ says we should turn the other cheek and not carpet bomb civilians. That leftist would shy away from atrocities. But I say we should precision carpet bomb ISIS troops. Not the cities mind you, just the people. Shouldn’t Arabs die to satisfy sacred redneck rage?”

Desperately trying to keep up with the manufactured hysteria, Marco “Boy-child” Rubio added: “I’d kill more Arabs than Ted, and a boat load of Persians, too. What choice do we have? Iran signed a treaty with Obama that requires any republican president to start the bombing on day one.”


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