Christie slams Trump

Fear the Fat Flush

Fear the Fat Flush

“I wish someone would tell Trump to sit down and shut up,” Chris Christie said today. “Before he ruins our chances with women and minorities. What kind of clown reveals exactly what we conservatives think of them?”

“Christie is like every woman’s second divorcee” Trump replied. “After the postparting eating binge. If he were Rosie O’Donnell, I’d call him fat and ugly. But I’ll be politically correct and say Christie’s gravity challenged and ugly.”

“Gravity has a liberal bias,” Christie whined. “I mean all that d = vat squared/2 stuff is defiantly liberal, egghead material. All weighty conservatives, from Taft to Huckabee, have struggled with it.”

“Donald Dump is a jackass,” Lindsey Graham, trying to insult his way up in the polls, jumped in. “A jackass of all trades. He was for Hillary, before he was against her. It’s criminally liberal to say something nice about a NY senator with ovaries. He’s a liberal woman lover. I wouldn’t be caught dead loving a woman.”

“I’ll be fantastic on women’s issues, by the way. When I said Megan Kelly was bleeding out of her who-ha, I could’ve meant her ears or her eyes. Women get very emotional during their monthly eye bleed. And my terrific, post Obamacare health plan will cover that, by the way.” 

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