Not being an apeofile, I wasn’t expecting much. But could it be as ground breaking as the original Planet of the Apes, with a Charlton Heston-like swagger? Nope. As nihilistic as Beneath the Planet of the Apes, with its bomb worshiping baldies? Not in 2014! As ridiculous as Escape from the Planet of the Apes, where a time traveling Roddy McDowall was the toast of the Nahru jacket wearing NYC Metrosexuals? God no, it was a remake of the worst idea of the original series, the epically bad, and 27-year series coma inducing Battle for Planet of the Apes. I guess I should be glad it was not a remake of one of the TV shows (there were two)!
The plot line is the same as Battle. Evil, rapacious Humans want the good old days. Before we were brought low by the Simian virus, named after the Apes that were used in the experiments. (Side note: When will these movie scientists stop brewing up apocalypse viruses in their “labs?”) We want power, literally electricity, and the “good guy,” Malcolm (Jason Clarke) with his team, looking to repair a hydro dam stumbles across Caesar (Andy Serkis) and the gang. Caesar, a peacenik, allows them to leave even after they’ve wounded an Ape teenager. But they still need to power their iPads! So, Malcolm goes back to beg Caesar to let them repair the dam. He lets them, but this angers the evil Koba (Toby Kebbell) who, tortured by humans, wants war. And war he shall have! Scenes of apes, ridding horses and shooting machine guns, are too good for Hollywood to pass up.
So, why wasn’t this YOUR favorite, dystopian, post apocalypse, sci-fi movie this summer?