Fat Shatner

Who is sexier, William Shatner or Patrick Stewart?

” William Shatner is one of the most beloved assholes ever to waddle the earth!” – Ronald Reagan

"I'll soon have to go back to my tank top one piece!"

“I’ll soon have to go back to my tank top one piece!”

"My stomach is rippling with the power of William Shakespeare"

“My stomach is rippling with the power of William Shakespeare”















A difficult question for a difficult age. Although he’s expanded his gut where no gut has gone before, in his day William Shatner was as hot as an Orion slave girl OD’ing on Zestra. The fact that both Picard and Riker were necessary (Picard was the cerebral Kirk, Riker, the sexy Kirk) means that Picard is only half the man Kirk is (these days perhaps 1/3). Tell us what you think.

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27 thoughts on “Fat Shatner

  • Lawrence Axil Comras

    MCCOY: Well, Jim, I’ve just examined the last of the colonists, and they’re all in absolutely perfect, perfect health. A fringe benefit left over by the spores.
    KIRK: Good.
    MCCOY: Well, that’s the second time man’s been thrown out of paradise.
    KIRK: No, no, Bones. This time we walked out on our own. Maybe we weren’t meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through. Struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can’t stroll to the music of the lute. We must march to the sound of drums.
    SPOCK: Poetry, Captain. Non-regulation.
    KIRK: We haven’t heard much from you about Omicron Ceti Three, Mister Spock.
    SPOCK: I have little to say about it, Captain, except that for the first time in my life I was happy.

    • Lindsey Jonathan Cotler

      Didn’t Kirk express a different attitude in “Who Mourns for Adonias?” MCCOY: I wish we hadn’t had to do this.
      KIRK: So do I. They gave us so much. The Greek civilisation, much of our culture and philosophy came from a worship of those beings. In a way, they began the Golden Age. Would it have hurt us, I wonder, just to have gathered a few laurel leaves?

      • Lawrence Axil Comras

        Different, yes, oppositional even, but that is not inconsistent with Kirk’s true nature. For while Spock is always portrayed as the man with two opposing sides, perhaps it is Kirk who harbors the deeper and more profound duality. Whenever presented with the opportunity to switch off Kirk-the-fighter and totally kick back, he always takes it. There are many examples, such as The Paradise Syndrome, where he falls in love with Miramanee: “All I can tell you is that I’m happy and peaceful here. I’m not sure, but I think I’ve never felt that way before.”

      • Eev Beker

        who mourns for adonis is such a great episode! we watched last week. me and the spawn discussed how they screwed it up (kirk and co.) and various ways it could have been handled w/o offing adonis.

        • Lawrence Axil Comras

          Cool Eev Beker +Spawn/Sean! Ya, Earth is paradise, but we somehow need to improve on it beyond whatever good it does us ( or the planet ). Kirk’s lament a brief insight into our obsessive need to always stay busy, build more shit, stay distracted and use as an excuse that we’ve outgrown our need for the Gods. So scared we’ll become a wet noodle for the sake of enlightenment. Lindsey Cotler I confess I only know _of_ Picard since he’s what the kids were into after my time, but ya, my guess his more realized or feminine side would have opened new doors.

    • Eric Sack

      I started reading your comments, Axil, and thought about the wet noodle reference, and then… ! It is interesting how my view has, uh, morphed a bit since I was a youngster. Buddhism is looking more appealing every day.

  • MuskratRat

    If the question were “who has better hair” or “who can guzzle more prune juice,” the answer would be Shatner. But Patrick Stewart is still svelte, not so the fatso Shatner.

  • Joaquin

    I definitely have to say that in this day and age, I support the decentralization of Kirk. His cavalier impudence works in a Vietnam and post-Vietnam war era Starfleet, but now that the intergalactic consciousness has grown to encompass real morality and political savvy, the universe needs an answer to Bill Clinton’s Shatnerian philandering. We have developed the need to divide the left- and right- Kirks to tackle real morality and depraved sexuality in this post-Iraq world we live in. Absolute Kirk korrupts absolutely.

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