Hillary Accosted at Benghazi Hearing

Chimps Ahoy!

Chimps Ahoy!

Hillary Clinton was seized at the House Benghazi hearings today by a troop of tea party apes screaming, “You maniac, you blew it up!” Master chimp and Defender of the Faith, Rush “Dr. Zaius” Limbaugh readied a series of medical experiments. “My work is very important,” Rush told this reporter. “I’m trying to determine how many times a woman can recover from a trumped-up allegation before the brain damage is permanent.”

“And what if she dies?” Dr. Limbaugh chuckled. “What difference does it make? People die all the time. That’s why pencils have erasers, so I can rub their names off my list. And there are a lot more where she came from.”

“It’s all part of my master plan to create a new kind of liberal,” Rush continued. “One that will vote in servitude to the job creators. If I can purify Hillary into an aging man, fortify her whiteness, and concentrate her greed and righteous indignation at the poor, I can reconstitute my audience. Just imagine, hordes of Hill-males voting to establish our new aristocracy. A place where my Rich Uncle Pennybags can build his monopolies and be served by liberal plutocrat-o-files who respect the sacredness of his wealth.”

When asked if he was just creating more Tea Baggers, Rush replied, “No I’m not. My Hill-males won’t necessarily have impacted colons.”


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