Jeb Battles the Supernatural – But Can’t Escape the Ghost of Dubya


The Ghost and Mr. Demure

The Ghost and Mr. Demure

Jeb of Arc began his campaign today to drive the memory of brother George W. from the sacred soil of Paris, Iowa. “Citizens of Paris,” the Maid of Tampa announced as the ghost of presidents past hovered over him, “Today I am my own man and I have nothing to do with the Bush family, it’s cadre of donors, or all the money they’ve given my campaign. And I’m a passionate conservative, not a compassionate one.”

Rush Limbaugh was not impressed: “He’s got a Common Core but no common sense. He doesn’t understand the threat posed by Democrats who negotiate with Iran. Iran can’t be trusted to abandon the nuclear program our intelligence agencies say they don’t have. So we have no choice but to bomb the DNC back into the Stone Age, before they got cable. And now, Democratic Ayatollah Elizabeth “Arsenic and Old Lace” Warren wants to tax the upper classes’ hard earned inheritances? Liberals just can’t appreciate the grueling ass kissing’s heirs have to endure just to get into Daddy’s will. Taxing them is what the Nazis did in Germany. It’s blasphemous! Didn’t Jesus say that Caesar can thread a camel with a needle before he can get me to pay taxes?”

Asked to comment, Jeb commented, “Do you have any idea how many bad ‘poppy’ jokes I had to laugh at? And I was the smart one. I was expected to do everything right, but Dubya was poppy’s favorite. When Dubya screwed up, like in Iraq, he got all the attention.”

Turning to Dubya’s ghost he cried, “Lay off! I deserve a presidency just as much as you did, and you’ve ruined it for all of us. It’s not like I feel privileged or anything, but it‘s MY turn.”

 

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