The GOP leadership has decided to fight changing demographics . . . by transforming the electorate.
“Instead of evolving our party to match a diversified electorate,” House Speaker John “Laurel” Boehner told this reporter, “let’s homogenize the electorate to match our Geriatric Ossified Party.”
“This all came from a glorious mistake,” Majority Leader Mitch “Hardy” McConnell added. “The original order was for 1,000,000 Rush bobble-heads 6 inches tall. Boehner thought it was for 50,000,000 Rush ditto-heads 6 feet tall.”
Senator Lindsey Graham put it this way, “I’ve always said we needed Hispanic mothers to have old white guys as babies. This is even better. They can be registered to vote tomorrow.”
“Millions of ditto heads designed to believe whatever we tell them,” Senator John McCain chimed in. “Angry, irrational and xenophobic, they’ll make the perfect soldier. We can concur the world – as long as the oxycontin holds out.”
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