McCain Returns Reagan From The Dead

I crane. You crane. We all crane for Ukraine

I crane. You crane. We all crane for Ukraine

Aging Liberal Hack, Supernatural Edition
In an astounding feat of chemical engineering and mystical prowess, Senator John McCain summoned Ronald Reagan back from the dead yesterday to stop the advance of Russian tanks into the Ukraine yesterday. “I’m sick of Obama’s approach,” the Senator screeched to whoever would listen, “Always thinking things through, always weighing consequences. It’s time someone acted impulsively. Bringing back Reagan was easy. A few electrodes, some duct tape, and viola! There he goes again!”
When asked about his own death, a drooling, disoriented Reagan replied, “The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government and I want your BRAINS!’ ”
“I warned you all about Russia,” a distraught Mitt Romney interrupted. “Putin is just like Hitler. I’ve even heard he’s a vegetarian.”
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