Obama Roasts Huckabee


Easy-Bake Coven

Easy-Bake Coven

Gretel Obama marched the Gingerbread Hag, Mike Huckabee up to his the oven door today, and threw him in. “That Marxist Fascist is just like Hitler and Chamberlin,” Huckabee Hound told this reporter. “Evil and diabolical, yet naive and trusting. Obama needs to read the King Reagan Bible. It clearly states, “Blessed are the war makers, for they shall preempt evil by killing innocents.”

“I’m not just being offensive to draw attention from Donald Trump. I truly believe that slowing down Iran’s drive for nuclear weapons just guarantees they will get them. Why only delay Iran for ten years when we can stop them just like we stopped Iraq? After a clean, surgical strike, they’re bound to bend over. Didn’t we give the Japs everything they wanted after Pearl Harbor? How else could they have beaten Detroit? Better to increase the sanctions that we neocons swore could never work. Only then will Iran capitulate. Russia and China will understand. After we walk away from a deal they took two years to negotiate, I’m sure they’ll help us get a better one, no matter how long they have to ignore their own economic interests. After all, when we asked nicely, didn’t Russia leave the Ukraine, and China stop building fake Islands they could claim? Who could doubt they would help us get what we wanted, if Ayatollah Obama just put his foot down? People forget what a fool Clinton was to make a deal with North Korea. Didn’t NK restart their program as soon as W. put them into the “axis of evil,” and reneged on building their light water reactor by the 2003 deadline? Irrational tough talk gets results every time.”

Donald Trump agreed, “The Barack from Iraq is a horrible person and he wasted our time getting the world to sanction Iran. Did he really think that he could bring Iran to the table? And now that he has, doesn’t he realize we have no choice but to reject any deal they agree to, because he negotiated it? So, let’s increase the sanctions until Iran capitulates, because irrational toughness is the only way to get the American people to see that republicans are right and our treasonous, Muslim president is wrong, and isn’t that what really matters? We represent the real America and will reject anything the elites in Washington negotiate, especially if their “scientists” and “experts” say it will work.”

Struggling for relevance, Huckabee quoted the Bible, “ ‘Only a good guy with an A-bomb can stop a bad guy with an A-bomb, and only by using it first.’ That’s why the second commandment guarantees the right of any gang or militia to own an atom bomb as long as they’re good guys. All we are saying is give war a chance.”

 

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