Obama and Satan in Trade Pact – Sulfur Importers Ecstatic

Demons of Hell, tired of paying high tariffs for their iPhones, rejoiced today as the Devil concluded his legacy enhancing trade pact with President Obama. Republicans in America, however, were confused and terrified.

“Plutocrats love any trade deal,” JEB! admitted. “But how can any red blooded republican support anything that Obama’s done. That’s blasphemy.”. . . Click the title for more.


South Wins Republican Civil War – Boehner Surrenders to Limbaugh at Appomattox

“How dare the Speaker try to scapegoat himself?” Rush Limbaugh asked as he rejected John Boehner’s surrender today. “When our true enemy is that antichrist in the White House. Ever since those northern aggressors banned Dixie’s negro workfair program, so called “slavery,” people like Obama have had too much free time to agitate. Those coloreds act with such a sense of entitlement. They think the labor of their ancestors created an inheritance that lets them avoid real work. Who do they think they are, the Job Creators?” . . . Click the title for more.


Netanyahu Bombs Obama – Nuclear Core Goes Hypocritical

Claiming that, “Only a good guy with a bomb can stop a liberal giving bad guys bombs,” Bibi Netanyahu signaled his willingness to blow up the President this week unless Obama calls a mulligan on his deal with Iran. “Congress must reject this agreement,” the Israeli Yahu claimed. “That will give Obama the mandate to renegotiate a better deal and convince the world he is a reliable negotiating partner. . . . Click the title for more.


Christie slams Trump

“I wish someone would tell Trump to sit down and shut up,” Chris Christie said today. “Before he ruins our chances with women and minorities. What kind of clown reveals exactly what we conservatives think of them?”

“Christie is like every woman’s second divorcee” Trump replied. “After the postparting eating binge. If he were Rosie O’Donnell, I’d call him fat and ugly. But I’ll be politically correct and say Christie’s gravity challenged and ugly.” . . . Click the title for more.


Failed Musician tries to Wed Moonshiner Maiden 1 comment1

“Anarchist without a power structure,” Joaquin Cotler was scheduled to marry Lindsay Dula, the face that cracked a thousand whips, before the republican establishment stepped in to halt it. “We can’t let these two marry,” Donald Trump announced. “Appalachia would never forgive us if we let that Jewish Nazi socialist run off with our red queen. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Jewish people, and Nazis too, by the way. . . Click the title for more.


Obama Roasts Huckabee

Gretel Obama marched the Gingerbread Hag, Mike Huckabee up to his the oven door today, and threw him in. “That Marxist Fascist is just like Hitler and Chamberlin,” Huckabee Hound told this reporter. “Evil and diabolical, yet naive and trusting. Obama needs to read the King Reagan Bible. It clearly states, “Blessed are the war makers, for they shall preempt evil by killing innocents.”. . . Click the title for more.


Trumps Invade Mexico

A squadron of Donald Trump clones charged up Guadeloupe Hill yesterday to claim Mexico for the Confederacy and free us from Poncho Clinton and her band of murders, rapists, and some good people (we assume). . . Click the title for more.