Palin Stumps for Goering on Uranus!


What adorable children! Wonder who the father is?

What adorable children! Wonder who the father is?

Sarah Palin brought her tea party message to Uranus today with a ringing endorsement for Hermann Goering as the first US Senator from the green planet, “Uranus should be left to the Ukrainians,” she said as she served Dark Lord Souron some of Hermann’s Kosher Bratwurst. “That’s why they need someone like my buddy Hermann. He’s a no-nonsense kind of guy who will help us get rid of Putin. Gosh, just look at what a fine job he’s done with all those bridge traffic cones in New Jersey. If he can handle a bridge named George Washington, just think about the way he’ll handle those Communists in Washington State who helped Putin take over Uranus!”

When informed that Uranus and Washington State are not the same places as Ukraine and Washington DC, she replied, “Wow, that’s confusing. Anywho, Biggie G. promises to make the fatherland great again and rid us of the under munchkins.”

Upon being told that the term Herr Goering was using was “Untermenschen,” The half-baked Alaskan replied, ”Boy! You’re just like those egg heads in high school who said if I didn’t learn to add, I’d never amount to anything. Next, you’re gonna say Hermann isn’t governor of New Jersey.”

This reporter was pained to reply that, despite the uncanny physical resemblance, Chris Christie and Hermann Goering are not the same person.

“Oh come on. I know a Jersey accent when I hear it.”

Astounded with amazement that bordered upon stupefaction, this reporter responded that the Reich Marshal’s accent was German. “German isn’t the same as Jersey?” the half term governor said, “There you go again. I warned you I could see Putin from my porch, headed this way. And you call me dumb?”

 

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