With oaths of loyalty to emperor Ronald Reagan, and shouts of “Death to Babe Ruth,” the heart of the Republican Party was slaughtered today in a hopeless Banghazai attack that shows no signs of abating.
“We will all die for this glorious lost cause,” Senator Mitch McConnell told this reporter with his dying breath. “But will Hillary Clinton’s murders finally be exposed by the mass-less media? Those lightweights never vetted Barack Obama. Even after his missing birth certificate proved he was assembled out of spare parts left over from Vince Foster’s dismemberment. So our committees will continue their impartial investigations into Hillary’s self-evident malfeasance.”
“Never have so many, done so little, at such great expense,” Rush Limbaugh paraphrased Churchill for his audience. “But folks, the Scorpion Queen got away with it because the press simply refuses to investigate or write stories about Benghazi. I used to think Obama was behind the Benghazi murders, but now I have proof it was Hillary. It must be her, because Obama’s not running for office again. Resenting his existence will not drive more people to the polls to vote against Hillary. I also have this Email from Sidney Blumenthal that reads: ‘In the name of Allah, kill the diplomats and delete this email so no one will ever suspect us.’ ”
“Now I know this is difficult folks, but we need to prepare to stop hating Obama and focus all our righteous indignation on Hillary. So, as we wave our flags, we can be disloyal to another illegitimate president. Liberals aren’t patriotic and don’t love America the way conservatives do. We love everything about America except her browning people. And the only way we can prove our loyalty is to delegitimize whom they elect.”
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