Resurrected and out of the closet, Mussolini Joins the Clown Car


The knives are out for the Cirque Italia

The knives are out for the Cirque Italia

Il Duce has made it official and will seek to succeed Ronald Reagan as the official Republican Pontiff. “I think young people are ready to re-embrace fascism,” Hitler’s plucky sidekick told this reporter. “Doesn’t every modern debate end with one person calling the other a Fascist or Nazi? I’m hoping they’re correct, and backing it up with familiar conservative policy:”

  • 1. Put Reagan’s steely visage on the $20 bill.
  • 2. Carve Reagan’s manly face over Roosevelt’s on Mount Rushmore.
  • 3. Cover the Statue of Liberty with Reagan’s welcoming image.
  • 4. Substitute Reagan’s heavenly face for Christ on the congressional cross.
  • 5. Crown the Times Square Christmas tree with Reagan’s majestic head.

“Some have accused me of leader worship,” Muscle linguine added. “But I say when you get a great leader, even after he’s dead, you follow his reputation blindly, regardless of casualties. We Republicans call it, “Mission accomplished.”

 

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