Transformers, Age of Extinction. Who Knew Extinction Would Be So Painful?


  What to expect from a movie based on a children’s toy? Robots from outer space that become cars. Why not rockets so they could escape cleanly for once? Because then you wouldn’t have all those smash up car chases Hollywood loves.
  Broke inventor Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) buys a beat-up old truck to salvage.
Someone who builds small robots would want this? He discovers it’s really a damaged Optimus Prime the CIA is after. But, instead of listening to his daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) and turning it in for a reward, he wants to study it to discover its secrets. That’s like a cave man trying to figure out how a computer works by taking it apart. And guess what? He fixes Optimus with parts from a local store!
  The CIA wants ALL transformers gone because of the damage their battles on earth cause. Can you blame them? They also have help from a Transformer bounty hunter who says The Creators want Optimus back. The CIA sends an army to Cade’s farm, but of course he makes an impossible escape with Tessa, lots of car crashes and the help of Optimus and Tessa’s boy friend (Jack Reynor).
  They then do what any American would do if the CIA was after them. They decide to sneak into CIA headquarters to find out why Optimus is being hunted and get something to blackmail the CIA into giving them their old lives back.
  Makes sense for a movie whose entire budget is for a series of smash ‘em up car chases. Which brings up to the question of the week. What is your favorite, stupid children’s toy movie?