Trump Kidnaps Megan Kelly – Takes his toys and goes home

'Taws Kelly killed the beast

‘Taws Kelly killed the beast

In an astounding display of political courage, Donald “The Prince of Pique” Trump has kidnapped Megan Kelly and climbed to the top of Trump Tower. “It’s all about respect,” His megalomaniacy declared. “During the Vietnam war, our feckless military wouldn’t let me go kill gooks because they said I had a foot problem. But, I’ll have no problem putting my foot down and taking back our military. Then, wrap myself in Wounded Warriors, and dare Fox to pry Megan Kelly our their cold dead fingers.”


“What about Ted Bundy and our brave boys under siege at the Oregon wildlife refuge?” Ted Cruz asked. “Why isn’t Megan Kelly down there helping out with snacks? But, no. Megan Kelly has blood coming out her whatever.”


Mike Huckabee, teetering on the event horizon of irrelevancy, commented for Ben Carson, who could not be resuscitated: “How have those two heathens split the evangelicals and left us nothing? We haven’t been able to sell an ounce of gold in weeks.”


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